I've spent years running from anxiety and depression. No one told me I'd try to run from happiness too. Thoughts on the strange terror of finally feeling safe.
Thank you for sharing this vulnerable post. It reminds me of my struggle through grief and depression after divorce and working on my healing for so damn long. When I was finally ready to date and immediately met the man of my dreams, it seemed too good to be true. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop too, and told him so. His response (which still makes me smile) - What if I only have one shoe? And two years later I'm finally no longer holding my breath.
Amy, oh my goodness, I can’t tell you how much I loved reading this. 🥹
“What if I only have one shoe?” That has to be one of the most endearing responses in the history of men. 😂 I can absolutely see why it still makes you smile. What a guy.
And thank you for sharing about your divorce and depression. I know those aren’t small things to talk about. Thank you for trusting me with this little glimpse into your life. It means more than you know. Comments like yours make me want to keep sharing my story too.
Please give your one-shoed man a high-five from this internet stranger. 🤍 You found a keeper.
Thank you so much! He's a keeper for sure. And he loved hearing your reply.💗 I love how supportive this community is. I'm currently writing a memoir about my healing journey through divorce and it's been great to tiptoe into it here and be inspired by others like you!
Ohhh, I'm so intrigued. Please do inform me when you've released your memoir into the world.
I know what you mean about this space. It's like inhaling puffs of sweet, sweet air, before lowering back into the underworld of our memories to produce our art. Love it. So excited to read your life's journey through the darkness...!!
Thank you for sharing this. It was so instructive to hear about your process of filming yourself as a literal mirror for reflection. and what a true peace a relaxed nervous system allows you. Enough and content - a satiation.
This is such a beautiful and vulnerable piece. For what it's worth - it does take a while to trust the happiness because while your brain has managed to switch your internal environment (with a lot of effort) your body still has the muscle memory of a person feeling constantly anxious, so it does take a lot of self talk and a lot of constant self regulation to get your body to unlearn the feeling. Regardless of that, I'm so incredibly happy that you're in a better place now, it takes a lot of effort and i hope you remember to appreciate yourself whenever you get the chance to!
I think the happiest version of myself, even though there's so many versions of myself I can picture like one on vacation, one surrounded with friends etc but i think at the most base level, the happiest version of myself is a girl not constantly reaching for her phone out of anxiety that she missed her parents' call or someone's important text.
Thank you for sharing this vulnerable post. It reminds me of my struggle through grief and depression after divorce and working on my healing for so damn long. When I was finally ready to date and immediately met the man of my dreams, it seemed too good to be true. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop too, and told him so. His response (which still makes me smile) - What if I only have one shoe? And two years later I'm finally no longer holding my breath.
Amy, oh my goodness, I can’t tell you how much I loved reading this. 🥹
“What if I only have one shoe?” That has to be one of the most endearing responses in the history of men. 😂 I can absolutely see why it still makes you smile. What a guy.
And thank you for sharing about your divorce and depression. I know those aren’t small things to talk about. Thank you for trusting me with this little glimpse into your life. It means more than you know. Comments like yours make me want to keep sharing my story too.
Please give your one-shoed man a high-five from this internet stranger. 🤍 You found a keeper.
Thank you so much! He's a keeper for sure. And he loved hearing your reply.💗 I love how supportive this community is. I'm currently writing a memoir about my healing journey through divorce and it's been great to tiptoe into it here and be inspired by others like you!
Ohhh, I'm so intrigued. Please do inform me when you've released your memoir into the world.
I know what you mean about this space. It's like inhaling puffs of sweet, sweet air, before lowering back into the underworld of our memories to produce our art. Love it. So excited to read your life's journey through the darkness...!!
Yes! And will do, thank you!
📖🌱
Thank you for sharing this. It was so instructive to hear about your process of filming yourself as a literal mirror for reflection. and what a true peace a relaxed nervous system allows you. Enough and content - a satiation.
This is such a beautiful and vulnerable piece. For what it's worth - it does take a while to trust the happiness because while your brain has managed to switch your internal environment (with a lot of effort) your body still has the muscle memory of a person feeling constantly anxious, so it does take a lot of self talk and a lot of constant self regulation to get your body to unlearn the feeling. Regardless of that, I'm so incredibly happy that you're in a better place now, it takes a lot of effort and i hope you remember to appreciate yourself whenever you get the chance to!
I think the happiest version of myself, even though there's so many versions of myself I can picture like one on vacation, one surrounded with friends etc but i think at the most base level, the happiest version of myself is a girl not constantly reaching for her phone out of anxiety that she missed her parents' call or someone's important text.